I began this painting in summer just after I finished my college. I have painted her, a bit of her face and most of her background. I wanted to make a free fresh background, painted with a knife, and show a colorful show in the arch. But then I stopped and have a time-out with this painting. In generally I made a mistake that time, ’cause I had a lot of unfinished works in different styles, I noticed, for me important to keep idea in the mind, that it inspires me. And if I have few ideas in the mind, for me it doesn’t work completely. ’cause I do not get fully satisfied with any of them. So reviewed this error I’m trying to not repeat it more, though accidentally something similar is happening now.
Anyway after beginning in summer I returned to Model in late Autumn and finished somewhere in December. But I am very sad I couldn’t keep her first face, so clean and light as I did it when I returned to continuing of this painting. So all was almost done and I was pretty happy to see as things turning on again to being such as I wanted to be. But I had an unexpected conversation with guy I had affair with. I tried to lost myself in painting sit and I just made the black dots of her eyes darker. I DID NOT change any shape, BUT her look changed from angel face to angry bitch. I don’t know her eyes was soo angry. And this moment my mom asked me what i did with her face, what happened? I said that I do nothing, just made them darker the dots, nothing more. Mom noticed that her mood changed to my mood, and after this moment she asked me Why do I do that for her, to one who doesn’t deserve it, and also she asked me when I am in any bad mood do not paint works, that contextually created to have another one.
I cleaned her eyes with diluent, i have only wed last layer of the dots i made, all others were dried. And was worked on her eyes next few days when I had better mood. I could change them a bit. But they anyway lost that child-light look. They became more adult and serious. Now when I look at her I see she is not sad, she smiling, though who knows what is under the mask.
Also I was using a figures of Botticelli. I used them ’cause they are very suited to this my painting, at least I think so.